Splendour Bender

Festival Season is upon us and that means digging out those gumboots and whipping out the sunnies for the ultimate musical experience.

One of our lucky interns made it to acclaimed Aussie festival Splendour in the Grass and has tried and tested the survival methods of festival life so you lot can arrive (and stay) in style for your next venture.

We all know that trying to maintain glamour in the grunge is no mean feat so this is how to keep chic when you’re knee high in mud and completely showerless:


1. Wash before you leave. And we don’t just mean your average shower session, we mean full on head to toe scrub-a-dub-dub-ing. Loufas out, shower gel a go and more bubbles than a bottle of Moet.

2. Make a splenderific playlist. Of course stick in tracks from the artists you’ll be seeing on stage but we all know no car journey is complete without a tone-deaf cheesy sing-a-long session. So think Footloose,  ABBA, Spice Girls and Wham!

3. Glamp it up (if the budget allows). Glamping is the new found phenomenon for ladies who love festivals but are somewhat hesitant to throw themselves head first into the mud. This fancy method means you can keep all your home comforts under one luxury roof and experience festivals in the most VIP way possible.

4. Wellies, Wellingtons, Gumboots, Rainboots, Rubberboots or Billy-boots. No matter what you call them, you need them. The uniform for festivalgoers and the foolproof way to stay dry. There is no argument with this one. Get them. Now.

5. Plan your priorities. It may seem like the actions of a funsponge to plan ahead when it comes to festivals but it is the best thing to do to make sure you don’t miss anything in the mayhem. Grab the line up timetable and have a quick sesh with your mates to see what they want to watch and plan which stage you need to be to for what time – trust us, it will avoid any mid-festival-mourning over the act that you missed by mistake.

6. Boobs vs legs. It’s the debate of women worldwide as too much of both is an instant slut formula. Our advice is go for the legs. Cover up on top and release a cheeky bit of thigh above the welly boot for the ultimate festival sex appeal. The brucey bonus for this trick is that once the sun goes down and you are wedged in the mosh at the main stage the penguin effect takes place and the huddled crowd will keep your exposed pins nice and toastie.

7. Accessories. Whether you are a flower girl or bling queen, pretty much everything goes at festivals. Bindis, wreaths, henna, anklets, rings, glasses, piercings, face paint - anything! So decorate yourself head to toe to make your everyday shorts and tshirt combo festival ready.

8. Have a Kodak moment. Leave the SLR and pack the disposable camera. Though high quality pro shots are marvellous, its not worth the risk bringing an expensive piece of kit to a muddy site – plus no one wants HD pictures of their make-up free unwashed selves so old school crappy cameras will work the same magic as a quick photoshop touch up.

9. Dry Shampoo was invented by the gods. This genius invention will save you from the mid-festival grease and make you look as fresh as a daisy (we’re afraid it wont help with smell, so smother yourself in perfume and deodorant as back up).

10. Put the buttcheeks away. It seems the world has hit a trend where shorts have transformed into denim knickers with pockets out the front and arses out the back. This is not a good look. For anyone. So tuck the cheeks in and zap the class up. Shorts = good, buttcheeks = heeellllll no.

11. Follow in the festival footsteps of the best. Kate Moss, Daisy Love, Kate Bosworth and Alexa Cheung are the professionals, taking the season by storm from Coachella to Glasto. They love rock-tees, denim shorts, army jackets, wellies and shaggy hair. Classic, easy-going style that can be replicated in seconds.

12. Sing until you cant speak. This will probably be the only time you get to see these artists so don’t waste the opportunity to show your love and yelp the lyrics with all your might. They may not hear you, but the lucky sods around you will surely appreciate it. Maybe…